Today I had the special opportunity to interview Yalinda the Yeti, who flew down from her home in East Asia to take part in today’s post, brought to you by the letter Y.
Me: Thank you Yalinda for joining me today. How are you doing this afternoon?
Yalinda: You’re very welcome. I love speaking with human beings, you’re so tas-friendly.
M (getting a little uncomfortable): What do you have to say about people who assume you are just a legend or a myth?
Y: I find it offensive. What would say if I said people were just a myth, huh? Big Foot and I discuss this all of the time. You ridiculous human beings need physical proof for everything [she sighs and rolls her eyes; flips back her longish white fur]
M: You talk with Big Foot?
Y: We’re cousins, of course. [chuckles] He lives in Oregon. [shakes her head] I keep telling him that he needs to move out of the area, but he refuses to move. He just loves the trees and some place called Voodoo Do-something or other.
M: What do you think of Portland so far?
Y: It’s too hot.
M: Anything else?
Y: No, it’s too hot.
M: Have you see the movie Monster’s, Inc. yet? I noticed they used the Yeti Monster-
Y: I must interrupt you. The word “monster” is an extremely derogatory word. I would rather you wouldn’t use that word.
M: I apologize. [glances at notes] So what do you think of the use of the Yeti Mon-ahem-the Yeti in popular culture?
Y: I don’t normally watch television but you humans have a ridiculous idea of what the Yeti’s are like. We’re quite peaceful actually.
M: I’m glad you could clarify that for us. So, what do you do during your free time?
Y: Chess, I like a good game of Chess. Would you like to play with me? [smiles with her sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight]
M: [shifts around in seat nervously] Um, well I think we might be out of time. Thank you again for taking the time to speak with me today and I’m sure we’ll be in touch soon.
This interview is a work of fiction. Whether or not the Yeti plays chest is unknown.
Oh, that's good!