Tossing Away Old Writing Notebooks – My Refreshing New Start

Today, I went on an exhibition to organize. It comes in waves for me, but this time was different. It all started when I came across old collages I made during high school and early college years that I would put in the front and back of binders. The hobby faded when I stopped subscribing to magazines, but these old collages remained stuffed in a weathered tote bag, unseen for years. Today, I decided to toss them and felt a pang of remorse, but almost immediately felt relief.


Then I came across a bag filled with notebooks and loose notebook paper filled with stories, freewritings, ideas, and character sheets. Quite a few were from high school (I couldn’t help but wince at those.) Many were from early college years, which – let’s just be honest – weren’t that much better than the stories from high school years. And as I read through this huge stack, I knew it was time to let them go.


I tossed away character sheets and several chapters from a novel idea I had about people living on a street called September Drive (there were many versions of this novel and nothing quite clicked for me). I tossed away notes from the fantasy novel I wrote in high school (there is still many pages from this world I created somewhere in my closet). I also tossed away illegiblle story scenes that were aimless and unfinished. I tossed away short stories I wrote for class taught by a teacher who refused to let us turn in genre-based writing. I threw away the unfinished novel from that same year in college when I tried NaNoWriMo the first time (I tried reading it and couldn’t even tell you what it was about).


Like with my collages, I felt bad about tossing these. Then when I got started, I realized how much I needed to do this. Was there a time that I would read through these stories and use them for inspiration? Maybe. Yet, I know I won’t look back with regret and wonder what came of these scraps of myself as a writer, because I am ready to grow and move on. 


I recall reading writing advice from somewhere that said if you want to try and finish a story you left undone years before, start the story fresh. I agree with that advice. 


I still look at notebooks for inspiration, but I realize that the notebooks I use for inspiration now are more recent reflections of who I am as a writer. Maybe 10 years from now I will go through my notebooks from my late twenties and early thirties and wince at my failed attempts while smiling at my endless determination. 


Even as I say goodbye to this old version of me as a writer, it’s still proof to me that writing will always be something I am pursuing. I love telling stories. It’s a love and desire that God put into my heart before I even knew how to read. Today was proof of that and also proof I’m ready to let go and grow.


Do you hold onto old notebooks and stories?